The first dom I ever interacted with (in 1992 or 1993) basically tried to dictate all kinds of terms to me and I had never agreed to even be in a relationship with him. I was looking for people with whom I could discuss kink because I didn't have any outlet at all. Anyway, I ended up just cutting him off cold because he wanted me to come live with him in a 24/7 thing with all kinds of restrictions on what I could wear, who I could talk to, what I could do for a living, how often I could leave the house, and so on.
I mean, I am a sub, but I can't maintain that kind of thing for more than a scene and a few hours after, and the idea of someone controlling every aspect of my life is suffocating. And it strikes me as abusive.
I've read a lot of really harrowing stories about the BDSM community as well - when it comes down to it, in so many places around the world, people are far more interested in protecting rapists and abusers and preventing so-called "drama" than they are in ensuring that kink is always safe and consensual.
no subject
I mean, I am a sub, but I can't maintain that kind of thing for more than a scene and a few hours after, and the idea of someone controlling every aspect of my life is suffocating. And it strikes me as abusive.
I've read a lot of really harrowing stories about the BDSM community as well - when it comes down to it, in so many places around the world, people are far more interested in protecting rapists and abusers and preventing so-called "drama" than they are in ensuring that kink is always safe and consensual.