I agree 100%. It's absolutely a culture issue, and I do think it affects women particularly. We are taught as children to be modest, to share the credit, to not brag, because heaven forbid someone actually know that we have accomplishments and talents. "Nice girls" -- that epitome of all we must strive for -- don't get 2400s on their SATs, but if they do, they certainly don't tell anyone about it. I'm reminded of that scene in Mean Girls where the Plastics are all complaining about their bodies, and they look to Katy to join them, because that's the socially expected thing for her to do. It's not part of the script to say, actually, I'm totally down with my body. How often do I hear women especially speaking on a topic they have particular knowledge of -- and then add the hedger of "but I might be wrong" or "at least that's what I think" or "do you think that's right?"? How often do I do that myself? Pretty damn often, is the answer.
However, I also think there is this culture of "fronting", so to speak, and I think that it has an equally detrimental effect on men. It's as unacceptable for a man to say "I don't know" as it is for a woman to say "I know", and neither of these rigid roles are conducive to actually fostering discussion, communication, and respect. A lot of the people, men especially, who seem particularly self-assured are really just putting on a show, because they're socially attuned enough to know that's what's expected of them, that's what they need to do to succeed in life, regardless of what they actually might feel.
thoughts! I have some! I might actually post about this myself because I think it's a really interesting topic.
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regna
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Date: 2012-04-05 04:05 am (UTC)However, I also think there is this culture of "fronting", so to speak, and I think that it has an equally detrimental effect on men. It's as unacceptable for a man to say "I don't know" as it is for a woman to say "I know", and neither of these rigid roles are conducive to actually fostering discussion, communication, and respect. A lot of the people, men especially, who seem particularly self-assured are really just putting on a show, because they're socially attuned enough to know that's what's expected of them, that's what they need to do to succeed in life, regardless of what they actually might feel.
thoughts! I have some! I might actually post about this myself because I think it's a really interesting topic.