Hahaha there was NO WAY the "science fiction is of the devil" was flying in my household. Mom is a MAJOR SFF fan, and the moment she caught whiff of that, there would have been hell to pay. He did try the "Reading fiction is wrong because it lets you escape from reality" thing though. I rolled my eyes.
When I first realized I was bisexual, I thought I was more attracted to men. Turns out, I am very much NOT attracted to men. Well. Masculine personalities, more. I was attracted to my partner because they were not typically masculine and rather more feminine; at the time they described themselves as a more "balanced male" but since finding out about the term genderqueer, that is how they identify (they draw a distinction between before and after they realized it, though). The majority of my experiences with men have been bad, so at this point, I am like... 97% lesbian? I am attracted to women and non binary people who are more feminine identified, but actual masculine people, not at all. I've tried, it did not work.
And I started out thinking I was more into men but probably would never do anything with women! One of the conversations with my ex fiance... poor guy... he thought I realized I was more into women because of my sexual experiences with him, because he thought I viewed his body as female. I was utterly horrified and told him no, I never viewed his body as anything but male, and it was realizing I was far more attracted to my female housemate-later-girlfriend that was the first step! When I asked why he thought that and he said most of his lovers or partners had viewed his body as female, I seriously wanted to kill people. I won't say at all I was perfect on trans issues at 18 but goddamn it I understood that much.
Probably, it didn't help that I actually tend to be attracted more to men in regards to fiction. All my crushes had been on fictional men, although man, did I have major girl-crush/worship for Uhura and Janeway and Jadzia Dax and Catwoman and Poison Ivy... but I either wanted to be them, or be their best friend. I have since realized that it is probably because fictional men, in my head, do not pull the shit that a lot of real life men do. :P
I read both SF and fantasy but leaned more towards the fantasy side, or science fantasy like Darkover. And I totally self inserted myself into Starfleet, too. (and had a huge crush on Garak from DS9. *hides*)
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2014-04-30 02:41 pm (UTC)When I first realized I was bisexual, I thought I was more attracted to men. Turns out, I am very much NOT attracted to men. Well. Masculine personalities, more. I was attracted to my partner because they were not typically masculine and rather more feminine; at the time they described themselves as a more "balanced male" but since finding out about the term genderqueer, that is how they identify (they draw a distinction between before and after they realized it, though). The majority of my experiences with men have been bad, so at this point, I am like... 97% lesbian? I am attracted to women and non binary people who are more feminine identified, but actual masculine people, not at all. I've tried, it did not work.
And I started out thinking I was more into men but probably would never do anything with women! One of the conversations with my ex fiance... poor guy... he thought I realized I was more into women because of my sexual experiences with him, because he thought I viewed his body as female. I was utterly horrified and told him no, I never viewed his body as anything but male, and it was realizing I was far more attracted to my female housemate-later-girlfriend that was the first step! When I asked why he thought that and he said most of his lovers or partners had viewed his body as female, I seriously wanted to kill people. I won't say at all I was perfect on trans issues at 18 but goddamn it I understood that much.
Probably, it didn't help that I actually tend to be attracted more to men in regards to fiction. All my crushes had been on fictional men, although man, did I have major girl-crush/worship for Uhura and Janeway and Jadzia Dax and Catwoman and Poison Ivy... but I either wanted to be them, or be their best friend. I have since realized that it is probably because fictional men, in my head, do not pull the shit that a lot of real life men do. :P
I read both SF and fantasy but leaned more towards the fantasy side, or science fantasy like Darkover. And I totally self inserted myself into Starfleet, too. (and had a huge crush on Garak from DS9. *hides*)